Page 1 of The Dare

I'm feeling a bit lazy today and since I've been talking about my short story, I figured I'd put up the first page for free perusal. It seemed to fit well into a post and I was editing it anyway, so here you go. Feel free to point out anything egregious. I'll probably end up posting the whole thing on here for free. At least, I want to. The hurdle from my perspective is to be able to post it in easily digestible chunks that aren't completely esoteric. As an avid blog-reader myself, I don't much care for giant walls of story or cryptic excerpts. So we'll see how this sharing goes. If you like/don't like the format, let me know. I've been looking into something like Wattpad too: a place where I could release free versions of my stories in a nice, serial format. One that is friendly to the form.

I'm just calling this "The Dare" for now, but I'll settle on a proper title when it's finished. Anyway, here we go...

Mark

The bell above the door rang, signifying a new customer.

"How about this guy?" Sally asked.

Mark sized up the man. He wore a colorful ski jacket, open at the neck despite the chill. As he entered, he pulled off his stocking cap and swiped at some snow that had already begun to melt. His brown hair was matted to his forehead and his blue eyes swept swiftly to Action/Adventure section. He walked toward the aisle with a purposeful stride.

"Easy. Spy thriller," Mark answered. "And he'll go to your counter."

They waited for a moment. The man perused the racks of rental movies, eventually snatching one. He flipped it and scanned the back. Looking for more images of the female lead. She would be in a bathing suit, Mark knew.

The man tapped the case twice, turned on the balls of his feet, and made for the checkout counter. He paused after exiting the cinematic canyons--as Mark thought of the racks--and glanced from Sally, to him, and then back at Sally. Mark made it easier on the man; he turned and busied himself with rearranging the stand holding microwave popcorn.

Sally pursed her pouty lips as the man approached. She recited the litany of policies and dates, scanned the movie and the man's card, then removed the plastic security flap.

"Due back next Tuesday," she said with a friendly smile.

The man licked his lips and swallowed before thanking her, trying--but failing--to keep his eyes from sliding to Sally's breasts. A daub of red rose to Sally's cheeks as she noticed, but she said nothing. Mark chuckled to himself. You think she'd be used to that by now.

She led the man around to the exit door and handed him his purchase in a plastic bag. As soon as he was gone, she turned and stuck her tongue out at Mark. He laughed out loud this time.

"I don't like this game," Sally said.

"That's because I always win," Mark pointed out.